ASK ME with Megan Weks
We often see articles on the relationship dynamics of two adults trying to make it work. Enter marriage and children, divorce, and re-marriage and children we get a whole new opportunity for relationships to dismantle or thrive.
We all remember the Brady bunch and the perfect flow of the new brother and sister arrangement.
Mrs. Brady did it with finesse and so can you.
As women, we learn to function in our lives as over-givers. We love our careers and also feel the pressures in the home to complete most of the caregiving and the housework. The statistics show that we still do most of it.
This way of life can weigh on us over time.
The constant giving can leave you depleted.
Not only with less to give but eventually over time, a less quality “you” may begin to show up. You must tactfully and intentionally make time for yourself and your own interests in life. It’s with the energy exchange received from filling yourself up that you will have more to put back into the family unit and keep your romantic relationship intact.
It’s with the energy exchange received from filling yourself up that you will have more to put back into the family unit and keep your romantic relationship intact.
You have more value to your primary partner and the family when you remain tied to your self-care and your interests, as a priority. You need to remain fulfilled to be able to offer them the best version of you.
They all depend on your fulfillment.
When you are fulfilled, this will flow onto the family unit collectively and it can thrive at an optimum level.
When there are kids involved, it’s important that the adults in the relationship maintain a feeling that they come first to one another. When an adult in the relationship feels that they are second to the child or children, resentment can form, and deterioration of the important bond that brought you together in the first place.
If they disagree on the parenting style for a particular issue, it should be settled behind the curtains and presented to children with a united approach. If one parent is putting down another parent’s approach in front of the children, it will suggest to the child that she can argue with that parent’s point of view. It will make it harder for both parents to carry the weight they need to when reprimanding the children. A united front will keep the respect of both parents in-tact and will strengthen the team of the primary romantic relationship, as well.
Children provide a great amount of space for the parents in a romantic relationship. Having children to focus on puts parents in the position of naturally taking the necessary space needed in a romantic relationship. However, there must be time carved out for the adults to spend alone where they are able to connect to maintain and deepen their romantic bond. Couples who are not making this a priority are doing their relationship a disservice. Life is busy and hectic but alone time together must be regarded as sacred. Afterall, the family unit is hanging upon this delicate romantic relationship. It must be nurtured to survive.
In addition, each adult should invest time to deepen the bond with each individual child. When each person in the family has taken time out to connect with each other individual, the strength of the family deepens, collectively. Special time should be considered and carved out. Two family members can schedule time to watch a particular a show, read a book together before bed, do a sport, craft, or visit a special place that the child enjoys. Pick something that is special to the child and they will feel love from the effort made.
One key thing to consider is that your words can never be taken back. For a successful family unit, patience is key. You can grow your level of patience with awareness and practice.
Building a family bond and maintaining an overarching romantic relationship while raising children is much easier when you’re not busy undoing the damage from dangerous words or actions taken.
You’ll be able to maintain a healthy level of patience much easier if you are taking the time out to fill yourself up, when needed.
Here are some steps to remain fulfilled as a busy parent in a romantic relationship:
–Maintain a level of fitness where you feel great about yourself. Do not underestimate the amount that your individual confidence about your body and health has in relation to the health of the family unit as a whole. Your fitness has a huge impact on you and should not be overlooked or put second to other factors in your world. You must figure out a way to incorporate a fitness regime. This is not a selfish act. This is something that will spill over and strengthen the family unit as a whole. In addition, you will become a great influence on the children’s future health, wellness, and confidence.
–Take classes to deepen your skills in passions and curiousities. It is not only important that your children grow, learn, and interact with the possibilities that the world provides them. It is important that you grow and learn and find things, which light you up. This will improve your relationship with yourself, your primary partner, and your children. Find something that brings you joy and sparks your interest.
–Read books about how to better communicate with your partner and how to speak to children. The number one way to improve our relationships is to improve our communication. Your words matter.
–Take fulfilling trips, getaways or exploration days. Family trips can provide years of smiles and memories. Trips with your partner to places you love or exploring together is a wonderful way to stay connected. Taking a meaningful trip alone or with a girlfriend can give you the recharge you need to bring your fulfillment to the family.
–Follow your joy and practice gratitude. Recognize what brings joy in your life and do those things every day. Take time each day to make a gratitude list. Notice how you feel recharged during the list making process.
In any relationship, you must not lose your individuality. This includes parent-child relationships. If you get lost in your child’s world your primary relationship will suffer. Each week, find a way to incorporate something that deepens your relationship with yourself.
When you are fulfilled you’ll bring much more back to your family to thrive.
It’s important to make time for your number one and let’s not forget that your number one is you.
Megan Weks is an international dating and relationship expert who specializes in helping women get the admiration they deserve from men, and to keep it. She is a certified specialist in her field, but one of her biggest credentials is her personal story. Living in New York City for over a decade, Megan has had the opportunity to meet and date many different men. Through working with a relationship guru, she literally changed from crumb-picking and obsessing over men who didn’t deserve her, to being called a “man whisperer” who men (including her now-husband) would never leave. Megan’s career is devoted to helping women who struggle with the men in their lives, to turn it all around and keep the men they desire. Megan coaches individual women in intense programs with her proven Lean Back for Love System and principles. She also runs a private online woman’s discussion group where women are supported with these principles. You can connect with her on her website www.meganweks.com. LVBX readers are also eligible to receive a complimentary feminine energy mini-session. Reach out to her on Twitter or Facebook, and subscribe to her LVBX LIVE videos and join her Facebook group Meet, Attract, and Marry Your Soulmate Now.
Megan’s Philosophy: Lean Back (definition) – The posture of a fully self-actualized woman, which allows men and their energies to flow toward her. She is focused on herself and her life as an individual, in preparation and willingness to receive her greatest love in return.